I was presented with a situation this weekend that got me to thinking about relationships, which involve two people with a big age gap between them. Many people are in the mindset that these kinds of relationships will not succeed because the two people will be in different places and will want different things. This may be true but only to a point and there are ways of making your relationship work when your partner is younger then you.
Number 1: Don’t Suffocate Them
If you are older then you’re partner the important thing you need to remember is not to suffocate them. You may understand that they are at the point in their life where they want to do different things such as go out clubbing, spend more time with their friends and have random adventures where as you are more ready to settle down and relax. You cannot expect them to be in the same mindset as you especially when you have done these things in your life and they haven’t. Trying to keep them away from doing these things will only result in your partner thinking they are not ready for a relationship thus breaking it off. The worst part is you may not realise you are doing this to them so be safe and instead of making it hard for them to go out tell them to have a good time or better still go with them and enjoy yourselves together.
Number 2: Don’t Be Overprotective
As much as you may want to look out for your partner you need to leave your bad experiences in the past. If they are wanting to go somewhere with a group of friends where you have initially had a bad experience you can warn them but don’t force it upon them and stop them from doing it just because it wasn’t nice for you. Remember your partner will need to make their own mistakes and learn from them. There is not problem with you wanting to protect them from these bad places but if your partner is wanting to go then let them go. Again if they have invited you as well instead of making them stay at home go with them, this way you can keep a closer eye on them but still let them have fun.
Number 3: Don’t Rush Them
You may be at that point in your life where you are ready to settle down, get married and have a family but your partner might not. Remember in any relationship it is give and take. Don’t pressure your partner into settling down with you if they are not ready, it is important they live their life and do the things they want to do for example if they are a student it’s important they spend time with their friends and go out on student nights if they want to. This way they can build their memories and not have any regrets when settling down with you. The last thing you want to do is stop your partner from living their youth because if it is something they really want to do but haven’t been able to because of the pressure of settling down they will only blame you for it later on in your relationship.
Having a relationship with a younger person doesn’t have to be different to having a relationship with a person your own age. The only thing you need to remember is to let your partner grow up and experience things instead of wrapping them in cotton wool. You also need to show that when your partner wants your company in doing something younger people do it is no problem and you can both enjoy it together regardless of your age. Remember age is just a number it doesn’t have to affect your relationship!
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent article, there’s some great advice in there I will definitely use.
Thanks!
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
Thanks and Welcome Sandra! We like to write our articles from looking at everyday situations (other peoples as well as our own) and write them as they are instead of covering them in fancy words that don’t make sense