This is a question that springs into every persons mind when they begin to date. Sometimes it happens too quick, sometimes too slow or sometimes not at all and then we end up back at square one with the same question in mind “When should I start to have sex?”
Well the quick answer to this question is that there is no right answer. You simply have to judge and weigh out the situation as it comes to you. There are usually two main scenarios, which you look at: The Club scenario (where you date someone you met in a club) and The Friend Scenario (where you date someone you have known or met outside of The Club scenario).
When you meet someone in a club you usually go off of physical attraction. If you decide to go on a couple of dates with this person then usually things move pretty quickly. The majority of times sex occurs on the first meeting usually known as a “one night stand.” This is when two people deliberately go out into a club and look for a partner to have sex with for that night only. Most people in this situation are usually not looking for a relationship or for things to go any further than that one night.
Now many people tend to make the same mistake when they are looking to spend time with and enter into a relationship with a person. One of the main rules of dating, which has developed over time is: Do not have sex on the first date. Simply because this might portray a one night stand situation or as other people see it as a “I’m desperate to have sex with you situation.”
If you want to spend time in a long-term relationship with the person then it is usually better to let things develop between the two of you. If you are girl dating a guy and he wants sex on the first date but you don’t, show him that you expect more than just a one-night stand from him and that you cannot be pressured into it. If you are a guy dating a girl and she wants sex on the first date but you don’t then show her that you’re not out for that and that you’re not looking for just that from her.
By letting things develop over a few dates you can also play it safe. It gives you time to get to know the person before committing and giving yourself intimately to them. If after a few dates you realise you have nothing in common with your “partner” and things aren’t really going anywhere then the last thing you want to do is attach yourself sexually and intimately. If of course you’re not wanting a relationship and are just wanting to have a good time then there is nothing wrong with taking on the club scenario approach but with this you need to remember it comes with a “No strings attached” policy.
If you’ve been dating a person a while and can see that you are really attracted to this person and vice versa then it simply comes down to how you both feel and if the time is right. There is no real answer to this question as situations differ from person to person. You might find people telling you to have sex after the third or fourth date but nobody can really put a time on how long you should wait to have sex once you’ve started dating a person. The best advice you can take to help you with this question is your gut feeling. If it feels right to you are you’re partner then do it but if it doesn’t then don’t feel pressured into doing it as you may later regret it.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I think having sex on the first date is a big NO-NO,no matter how big the attraction factor is. First date is about getting to know each other.
When the time comes and it feels right,then you’ll know when to go for it.
It depends on who the person is, i for one like it NOW!
A lot of people suit different things, I for one like to take my time after dating someone as i’m more of relationship person whereas my sister can be the complete opposite.